if what i heard is true.
i have nothing to say.
none at all.
you just don't know that you have a special charm about you now do you?
yes you've changed.
everyone does.
who doesn't?
you can never go back to the way you were.
and neither can i.
but nothing has been the same since you've gone.
i know that she likes you.
but i guess you know that by now don't you?
you've always been to catch up on things like this.
maybe if you like her.
ad i said IF.
you might have something good.
who knows?
i mean, how long do you want to be alone?
no one can be alone forever.
no one is meant to be alone.

i know that you need your space.
and for the past year.
i haven't been a good a good enough friend to give it to you.
yes.
even if we're not talking.
i still have a feeling that you still read this.
just like i do.

i guess you read the message i sent you.
and probably deleted it by now.

i don't know why you asked claire that question.
i don't know how to answer.
but hey.
there is alot of things i want to say to you.
many things i want to show you too.
but signs keep popping up.
telling me that i'm losing it.
the ring.
the glass container of stars.
and many other little things along the way.

i still kept every little thing you gave me.
and i still treasure it.
which is why i don't dare the wear the jacket anymore.
just it case the colour keeps fading.
and the shirt too.
it getting out of shape.
which is not good.

i don't know why i just typed so much about him.
yeah. nessa you smartass.
i'm officially in depression.
cause i'm indulging in comfort eating.
yeah.
i've been eating and eating and eating.
so yeah.
its time for nessa to be fat all over again.


i get scared when i wake up.
only to find that you're truly gone.
what happened to your warmth?
what happened to you?
but i love you still.